How do they see us?

You know I have always tried to be a big proponent of this whole daddy gig. I see some guys out there, at work or various places who just don't get what a great thing being a father is. I must admit though that I am exceptionally blessed with three amazing kids who are well above average on the "my kids are amazing" scale. The fact that my kids are so great makes the whole being a father thing that much better and easier.

So I had one of those learning/self reflection experiences yesterday. The type of experience that can only be provided by one of those sweet, unnassuming, and innocent children. Here is what happened.

So Hunter gave a talk in primary yesterday on prayer. Because of the ward split the week before our time has now switched to 1:00 pm :( and so we worked on his talk all morning. He talked about Joseph Smith's first vision and how Heavenly Father will answer our prayers if we have questions or need help. Since he can read so well we just printed it and he read it when it came his turn. (he is very impressive with how well he reads I'll humbly admit :)) His talk went great and I was beaming with how great he had done and what a great boy he is.

Now fast forward to bedtime. I'm brushing Hunter's teeth and I mentioned again what a great job he had done. We started to have a little discussion on prayer. I was telling him how important prayer was to me and how much it helps to pray to Heavenly Father. Then we started talking about things to pray for so I mentioned a couple of things that I pray for like being a good husband to his mommy and that I can do well at my job to take care of our family. With each thing that I mentioned Hunter would get this big look on his face and say "Really!" And then I said that I pray so that I can be a good daddy. Hunter looked up at me and said "Really! Does that mean you won't be angry and yell anymore dad?"

I was completely speechless and had no idea what to say. I've always thought of myself as a very mild tempered individual. My first reaction was to get a little defensive in my mind as I started to self reflect. I don't raise my voice that often right? I only sound angry when they are misbehaving and I am disciplining. The child is young and he just doesn't realize how good he has it. There are so many angry and mean parents out there and we don't hit or spank our kids.
But then I stopped myself and allowed myself to think about it without any defensiveness. I realized that in his mind this was a valid and sincere question. To him daddy got angry and yelled sometimes. It doesn't really matter at that point what the reason or justification might be in my mind, I was being given a brief, innocent, and honest glimpse of my sons perception of me.

In management terms I was being given feedback and in the workplace the one thing about feedback is you have to realize that you are not perfect in your job and that everyone has areas they need to improve. The trick is avoiding that defensive reaction and allowing yourself to reflect and improve based on the feedback.

So thank you Hunter for being such an amazing boy and for helping me in so many more ways then I probably help you. You make being a father an amazing and wonderful experience.